You by Caroline Kepnes

My Review

       You is a wildcard for Little Black Bookshelf. LBB is predominately romance which surprisingly is where I found this book. Under the romance recommendations on Goodreads. I think… This book is as romantic as it is humorous. But I had to laugh while reading, not because it was funny (although some parts were actually funny), but because this man was so far gone in his head that the only thing I could do was laugh. But this book is BY NO MEANS a romance. Or did I find this under contemporary? Because this book is a mutt. A contemporary mutt.

       And this is probably my most reviewest review.

       You is a “different, hot” mix of thriller, mystery, with micro-hints of romance. It’s obsession at its finest. Told from the POV of our anti-book boyfriend, Joe, You offers a front row seat into the mind of a man who takes online stalking to a scary level. But I learned a valuable lesson from Joe Psychoberg: keep your social media presence vague or to a minimum.

       Dearest Joseph. I find myself fond of your tone of voice. The way I can tell that your mind is going at a million miles an hour. The way you think your thoughts are rational and sane, but to most of society your thoughts are seen as irrational. And somehow I find myself questioning my own rational while reading.

       In a strange way, Joe, I like you.

       You’re “different, hot”. In a demented sort of way.

Final Rating: 5 Creepy Good Stars

Steam Scale Twisted

***MILD SPOILERS AHEAD***

Comments & Side Notes

§  I’m only 12 pages into this and it already has me thinking whether or not I’m posting too much personal stuff online. But I can’t even lie…I’ve done my share of internet stalking, but DEFINITELY not like Joe. Seriously dude? Real estate records??

§  How much time does this guy have on his hands? His attention to every little detail is remarkable.

§  Joe is still creepy AF but around page 60 I’m trying to “attempt” to see past his creepiness. He really gets Beck; even more than she gets herself. And at the end of the day isn’t that one of the things we’re all looking for in a partner? Someone who gets and understands us?

§  First Time: after ALL that build up, after ALL the fantasizing, and after ALL the talk about how great their “marathon fuck” was going to be, it all went to shit because Joseph blew it, literally, within seconds. *closes book, bows head, & says a prayer for Joe*

§  This guy is seriously a sociopath. Or is he a psychopath? I should’ve paid more attention in my college psych classes… Oh. And he’s also classified as a serial killer so there’s that.

§  That’s fucking sad how speaking of killing someone, even metaphorically, Joe says “Not this time” BRUH! WTF you mean not this time?! Your mind is extremely screwed up!

Quotable Highlights

You’re too close to the tracks, Beck, and you’re lucky I’m here, because if you fell or if some sicko had followed you down, some derelict rapist, you wouldn’t be able to do anything.    -p. 35

       So I take it, Joe Goldberg, you don’t consider yourself “some sicko” who followed her down?

Did I mention that you’re lucky to have me? You are. I am a Bed-Stuy man by birth, sober, collected, and well aware of my whereabouts and yours. A protector.

And the bullshit thing is, if someone saw the three of us, well, most people would think I’m the weird one just because I followed you here.        -p. 36

       Yea I ‘m guessing he doesn’t fancy himself as a sicko. But see if he hadn’t gone full on Private Investigator on her and honesty happened to be at the same place at the same time as Beck, he would be considered as a protector or a guardian angel of sorts. But since that’s not the way it happened, yes, Joe, that makes you the weird one.

We’ve been through this. About an hour after he came to, the fucker recognized me from the cab. So now he thinks he’s figured me out. He thinks I’m obsessed with you. He thinks I trapped him in here because of you.       -p. 72

       Y’ALL! I forgot ALL ABOUT THE CAB!!! Where Joe and Benji first met each other! And capital D Dumbass Benji didn’t recognize him when he was pretending to be some fancy food critic?! LMFAO! What a freakin’ moron! (And frankly so am I. haha!)

You wouldn’t be mirroring my words if you weren’t excited and I write back to you: You’ll know when you need to know. Wink-wink.

The wink-wink might have been a mistake and I feel sick.  -p. 73

       I hate that feeling when I’m talking to someone I’m crushing on and say something that I probably shouldn’t have said! Unfortunately I do that often...

What’s the only thing more sexless than lunch? Brunch, a meal invented by rich white chicks to rationalize day drinking and bingeing on French toast.”  -p. 164

       Hahaha!!! That’s how I feel whenever I go to brunch. But instead of French toast I order something I can’t pronounce or some uppity crap salmon with poached eggs. Both of which makes me wish I went to McDonalds and ordered a Sausage, Egg, & Cheese McMuffin.

You don’t treat me like I’m your guy; you go to drinks with people from school and call me after the drinks and you don’t act like there’s anything weird about the fact that you didn’t invite me to go along. I’m your phone bitch and I don’t like it.”            -p. 166

       Phone bitch HA! (insert laughing emoji) Yup, sounds like you’re in the friend zone buddy.

Honestly, Beck, of all these white motherfuckers on this boat right now (seriously, no black person would ever do this), how many do you think could pass a test on Olivier Twist?    -p. 202

       Okay, I legitimately busted out laughing! Damn skippy we wouldn’t!