Ode to Fifty Shades
Cheers! To the Fifty Shades of Grey series. The series that transitioned me, no, catapulted me from reading young adult to adult.
How I Started Reading FSOG
Funny story. So the first time I ever heard of the series, one of my friends was getting married so a couple of us went to Hustler Hollywood to find her something. When we get there a lady asks us what brought us in, and when I told her she says something along the lines of “Please tell me you’re not here because of Fifty Shades of Grey?” I guess a lot of people have been coming in for stuff related to Grey, but I told her that we’d never heard of it, and needless to say she was relieved.
Fast forward about a month later (if I remember correctly), one of the girls I was with at Hustler invited me to the beach with her family, and her mom had started reading the series. She had paperbacks and just finished FSOG, so my friend started reading it while I downloaded it on my iPad.
I don’t really remember much from that trip except for when I wasn’t eating, sleeping, or in the ocean, I was reading. That book consumed us (especially my friend and I) the entire week.
I officially became Greysessed.
My Unwanted Two Cents
Contrary to what a large percent of people who have an opinion on Fifty say, but I hope many of you are on the same boat as me, I enjoyed reading about Christian and Ana. Sure, maybe all the details inside the life of someone who fancies BDSM isn’t all correct (but this is a fiction novel and fiction is embellished and not true), and James’ writing style may not be Noble Peace Prize worthy (like have you tried writing a novel? It’s not as easy as you’d think) but it got the job done. I don’t read to critique, I read to imagine. And I was able to perfectly picture what I was reading in my mind, and I was thoroughly entertained despite Ana’s annoying somersaulting Inner Goddess. So kudos to you, Erica!
Disclaimer: I’m a horrible blogger. It’s been years since I read the series, and instead of going back and rereading to pull up comparisons, I’m gonna go by memory. So below I’ll attempt to remember the big highlights from the books and comment on their screen omission, adaption, or expectation.
Fifty Shades of Grey
First, I just have to say that Ana better be thanking her lucky stars that Kate was sick and couldn’t make it to interview Christian for the paper. Out of the three books, I think I remember the least from this one, but the one thing I do remember and was sooo glad to find out that the producers knew they weren’t going to write it in the movie was the tampon scene.
Christian and Ana are about to get it on for the millionth time but Ana’s on her cycle. However, a bit of blood won’t stop Grey from getting his Steele fix so he REMOVES her tampon before producing a “foil packet” from outta nowhere like Houdini, and replaces the tampon with his Lil' Christian O_o
So glad they left that out.
And can I just say how perfect Beyonce's renditions of "Crazy in Love" and "Haunted" were for the movie! "Haunted" plays in the background after Ana emails Christian about how it was "nice knowing him" and he shows up at her apartment to show her just how nice it was. That famous ass slap... that gets me every time. And we all remember when "Crazy in Love" comes on. Because it left us crazy in love with that scene in the Red Room.
Fifty Shades Darker
Not to rain on Sam Taylor-Johnson’s parade because she did a great job with Fifty Shades of Grey, but Fifty Shades Darker was so much better and ten times sexier. Holy Hells Bells, I was left so hot and bothered after that movie, I didn’t know what to do with myself.
What I was mostly looking forward to seeing on screen was obviously Christian as a submissive, Leila submitting to Christian in Ana’s apartment, the helicopter crash, and the hearts and flowers proposal. Now while the fallout from the helicopter crash was SPOT ON with how I pictured it in my mind, and I was pleased with the proposal and the Leila ordeal, I was highly disappointed with the Submissive Christian scene. That was the ONE scene I had been dying to see, even more so than the crash, and it as just…eh. In the book I remember it being intense and shocking. That was a very pivotal moment, our dominant Christian submitting himself to Ana in order for her to stay with him. That was huge! My friend that I started reading the series with and I had read that scene around the same time on our drive back home from the beach, and we had to text each other our reactions because her mom hadn’t gotten to that point yet. I felt cheated out of a profound moment on the silver screen, and I still feel some type of way about it.
And speaking of feeling cheated, let’s mention the running times for the movies. Grey was 2hrs 5mins which was awesome. Darker came in seven minutes shorter with 1hr 58mins which is still good, but what made it better was the director’s cut added an extra 15mins. So explain this to me producers…
Fifty Shades Freed
Why the hell is Fifty Shades Freed only 1hr 41mins long?! Hmm?? What type of crap is that? And Freed is the most thrilling out of the series so I think it deserves more time than that. I mean there’s the wedding, the honeymoon, Jack going psycho kidnapper/hostage negotiator, Ana getting pregnant and having to tell Christian, plus who knows what other major moments I’m forgetting. That’s a lot to fit into 100 minutes!
But hands down my most anticipated scene for Freed is when Christian senses something’s wrong with Ana and she tells him that she’s pregnant, and he flips on her and storms out. And if that scene is ANYTHING less than explosive, I’m cussing E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y out! This whole movie should be explosive due to the fact that it’s no longer just an erotic romance but to an erotic romantic thriller.
COME ON FEBRUARY 9TH 2018!